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This, presumably, was not a problem for anyone until the night that two cleaning ladies for a local hostel walked in on a sight far more horrifying than anything Eli Roth could come up with: The year-old Scottish man, with trou fully dropped, was "riding" a bike in a way that God never intended.

It has 10 speeds, all of them are sexy as hell. Oh, and did we mention that he stopped, knowing he was caught in one of the most awkward situations ever, acknowledged the cleaners in the room, and then continued gettin' it on?

Whether that is dedication, determination or retardation, it was probably backed with the thoughts and hopes that today would be the day he would get lucky and finally have that M-F-F-Bike orgy he always longed for.

It didn't take long for them to call the cops, who booked his ass on charges of sexual breach of the peace, which we assume is Europe-speak for making everyone at the station say "What the Fuck?

In fairness, this bike is totally asking for it. The man's little Tour de France got him three years probation and placement on the sex offenders list, presumably with the note "fucked bike" next to it.

So, imagine you are walking innocently down the street on an usually nice day in February. It's a few days after Valentine's Day and you still have warm, fuzzy feelings of love and tenderness skipping through your chest.

Yes life is full of sunshine and rainbows. Nothing can ruin your day Congratulations, you now know exactly how those school children and young women felt when they encountered this exact scenario in Wiltshire, England.

The nameless year-old man, whose identity is being protected for reasons we are unsure of other than to not be called a "lamposexual" in public was soon arrested for "suspicion of outraging public decency.

Even with eye witnesses? Now we are curious to find out how much more detective work it would take to get a conviction on publicly boning a street lamp.

We would also like to take this opportunity to point out how England is dominating this list. Kind of adds a whole new layer to that Telegraph headline from earlier.

It's an American fucking an inanimate object this time! Late one night, a certain man was walking around Hong Kong, in the park, lonely and bored.

So he did what many of the lonely and bored people on this list did, and found the nearest thing with a hole in it to fuck.

Then he saw it: a park bench, with holes in it. And then he made the fateful decision to have bit of the old in and out with it.

What's the harm? Yes, that video is totally accurate, his penis got stuck in the bench. His ill-advised boning adventure soon led to over a dozen emergency personnel attempting to rescue him, while trying to hold in the Nelson Muntz style laughter brewing inside each of them.

The doctors had to use needles to drain blood from the man's penis but, sadly for Xing, getting stabbed in the dick did nothing to stop the swelling and loosen things up, so the rescuers had to cut away the part of the bench that he was stuck to, and shipped him off by ambulance, where it took doctors a painfully long four hours to remove the sheet of metal from Le's dong, which he almost lost.

I want what's under her. Hell yeah. So, yeah, from beginning to end that whole thing was one big Worst Case Scenario.

All because of a single, momentary, horny lapse of judgment. You'd think that would scare people of inanimate object sex forever, but there's at least one guy we're pretty sure is still going strong.

His name is Edward Smith and he has sex with Edward Smith's love of cars didn't translate into a nice collection of rare vehicles, or a career as a mechanic.

Oh, no, he's on this list because he wanted to express his love in a different way. Awww yeah. Edward is one of a tiny number of people who are called mechaniphiliacs only about of them, as far as we know , and it's just what it sounds like.

Chick Fucks Her Dog. This chick on Facebook apparently lost a bet, and then went and had sex with her dog. Then she posts a video of her in the act, and receives a ton of backlash from people on Facebook, and proceeds to call everybody "haters".

Video below. This chick needs to be medicated. Response to Chick Fucks Her Dog. I don't have a Facebook anymore so it slipped my radar, but I just found out about it through Reddit.

First, the Tampon girl, now this? Wow, is looking glamorous. All these acts of depravity and I can't even get some simple puss. I need to re-evaluate my life.

Site Steam. The latest addition to a string of taboo viral videos. I'm actually kind of intrigued as to what's gonna top this. I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart.

I'm sorry, I still couldn't get that. It seems like whatever this string of text people keep using in this thread forcibly invokes dyslexia on me and I can't read or understand it at all.

Try to use synonyms so I can clue in. I thin somebody probably found that video on the internet and created a fake facebook page for the woman.

Whoever that woman is, she didn't fuck that dog for the first time because she lost a bet. Both her and the dog knew exactly what they were doing.

Member since: May. Member Level 01 Blank Slate. Member since: Dec. The dog probably left because his dick was to small to satisfy him.

But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds. Member since: Sep. Member Level 25 Blank Slate. Member since: Jul.

Member Level 02 Blank Slate. LOLZ, agreed!!! You dirty, dirty boy! Member Level 14 Blank Slate. Seriously, if you want to talk about bestiality, post it in a queer literotica forum instead.

Member since: Apr. Member Level 10 Artist. Post this degenerative story elsewhere. Yin and Yang.

It was so gross but he raped me for month until my bf and I split. I don't judge, and your just exploring but you have to be careful a dog can do anything from licking his own butt and transferring those germs to your vagina.

I think it feels great but if you hear the dog eating out your sister than you change your mind about it. It feels so good and there is nothing to be afriad of it is better than a human and do you have in Instagram?

Trending News. Why Ozzy's oldest daughter wasn't on 'The Osbournes'. Dungy: Dak injury may be a 'blessing in disguise'.

Woman drowns, 6 children rescued in Lake Tahoe accident. First, a vaccine approval. Then 'chaos and confusion.

The next big market mover, according to Wall St. Wife of Pennsylvania Lt. Fetterman called racist slur. Answer Save. Do you still let your dog eat you or have you changed?

How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer. You just want to have evidence for when the cops say, "There is no way some guy is fucking a table.

But eventually the neighbor did turn the tapes over to the police, who arrested the perpetrator and presumably drew straws over which poor bastard was going to watch the hours of evidence.

The man was charged with felony counts of public indecency because his frolic with the world's most vulnerable four-legged beast happened near an elementary school.

We're guessing this made for some long, awkward conversations between fourth graders and their parents.

A Sioux Falls, South Dakota man was arrested when a neighbor came home and had the following thought train barrel down the center of his mind, "Hmm, there appears to be a year-old man in my backyard in a trench coat and panty hose, holding a camcorder.

Perhaps he's a pervert. After the man was arrested, police found hours of tape that were kind of like that haunted video from The Ring , only instead of killing you, it just permanently negates the possibility of an erection for the remainder of your adult life.

Police say the tapes included two years' worth of the man defiling street signs. Two goddamn years. And that's just the ones he was taping, who knows how many street signs he fucked and got away with it.

This proves once and for all the forensics and crime scene work you see on CSI is a big load of bullshit. The man's escapades didn't end there , either.

By the way, this is the guy we're talking about. There was also video of him masturbating in front of traffic while wearing a mask, waving a gun at people while naked and digging a hole to literally fuck the ground.

That has to be the pinnacle of messed up boning, right? Screwing the earth itself? Well we can say that he's not the first guy to get caught doing it , so maybe it's a thing.

Who are we to judge? A man from southwest Scotland apparently decided, while looking at his bike, that he wanted to ride it all night long, and in ways that would make Lance Armstrong weep tears of pure terror.

This, presumably, was not a problem for anyone until the night that two cleaning ladies for a local hostel walked in on a sight far more horrifying than anything Eli Roth could come up with: The year-old Scottish man, with trou fully dropped, was "riding" a bike in a way that God never intended.

It has 10 speeds, all of them are sexy as hell. Oh, and did we mention that he stopped, knowing he was caught in one of the most awkward situations ever, acknowledged the cleaners in the room, and then continued gettin' it on?

Whether that is dedication, determination or retardation, it was probably backed with the thoughts and hopes that today would be the day he would get lucky and finally have that M-F-F-Bike orgy he always longed for.

It didn't take long for them to call the cops, who booked his ass on charges of sexual breach of the peace, which we assume is Europe-speak for making everyone at the station say "What the Fuck?

In fairness, this bike is totally asking for it. The man's little Tour de France got him three years probation and placement on the sex offenders list, presumably with the note "fucked bike" next to it.

So, imagine you are walking innocently down the street on an usually nice day in February. It's a few days after Valentine's Day and you still have warm, fuzzy feelings of love and tenderness skipping through your chest.

Yes life is full of sunshine and rainbows. Nothing can ruin your day Congratulations, you now know exactly how those school children and young women felt when they encountered this exact scenario in Wiltshire, England.

The nameless year-old man, whose identity is being protected for reasons we are unsure of other than to not be called a "lamposexual" in public was soon arrested for "suspicion of outraging public decency.

Even with eye witnesses? Now we are curious to find out how much more detective work it would take to get a conviction on publicly boning a street lamp.

We would also like to take this opportunity to point out how England is dominating this list. Kind of adds a whole new layer to that Telegraph headline from earlier.

It's an American fucking an inanimate object this time! Late one night, a certain man was walking around Hong Kong, in the park, lonely and bored.

So he did what many of the lonely and bored people on this list did, and found the nearest thing with a hole in it to fuck.

Then he saw it: a park bench, with holes in it. And then he made the fateful decision to have bit of the old in and out with it. What's the harm?

Yes, that video is totally accurate, his penis got stuck in the bench. His ill-advised boning adventure soon led to over a dozen emergency personnel attempting to rescue him, while trying to hold in the Nelson Muntz style laughter brewing inside each of them.

The doctors had to use needles to drain blood from the man's penis but, sadly for Xing, getting stabbed in the dick did nothing to stop the swelling and loosen things up, so the rescuers had to cut away the part of the bench that he was stuck to, and shipped him off by ambulance, where it took doctors a painfully long four hours to remove the sheet of metal from Le's dong, which he almost lost.

I want what's under her. Hell yeah. So, yeah, from beginning to end that whole thing was one big Worst Case Scenario. All because of a single, momentary, horny lapse of judgment.

You'd think that would scare people of inanimate object sex forever, but there's at least one guy we're pretty sure is still going strong.

His name is Edward Smith and he has sex with Edward Smith's love of cars didn't translate into a nice collection of rare vehicles, or a career as a mechanic.

Oh, no, he's on this list because he wanted to express his love in a different way. Awww yeah. Edward is one of a tiny number of people who are called mechaniphiliacs only about of them, as far as we know , and it's just what it sounds like.

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